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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27125701">The Fine Line Between Us</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/davenzis/pseuds/davenzis'>davenzis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Druck | SKAM (Germany)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Friends to Lovers, M/M, POV Alternating</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:55:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,728</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27125701</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/davenzis/pseuds/davenzis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Get off!” Matteo laughed, trying, and failing, to shove David off from where he lay on top of him. David just grumbled against his shoulder refusing to move. He giggled at the sound of Matteo’s huffing and puffing, still trying to push him away.</p><p>Matteo loved this. The feeling of David’s full weight on top of him. The ease with which they could just be. Things used to be so simple with David. Used to be.<br/> <br/><i>Best friends for years, David and Matteo have teetered between the line of friends and something more. But due to worries, bad timing, misunderstandings, and just being dumb, they have yet to fully face their true feelings. That is, until certain circumstances occur that push the two to finally confront them.</i></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Matteo Florenzi/David Schreibner</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Special thanks to:<br/>Maria, Pebbles, Bhav, Leona, Liz &lt;3<br/>Even though you guys probably didn't think much of it, your kind words or even just interactions with my random tweets regarding this fic or writing in general was much needed support to a fic noob like me, so thank you!</p><p>WELL my first fic, let's go! Started it on a whim without having any idea where I was going with it and now here we are weeks later with a completed 20k word work. In terms of originality, it's mediocre at best, but I worked really hard on it and I also had a lot of fun writing so I'm proud of the outcome nonetheless. I'm very nervous about posting this so uh, please be kind and I hope you enjoy :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Get off!” Matteo laughed, trying, and failing, to shove David off from where he lay on top of him. David just grumbled against his shoulder refusing to move. He giggled at the sound of Matteo’s huffing and puffing, still trying to push him away.</p><p>Matteo loved this. The feeling of David’s full weight on top of him. The ease with which they could just be. Things used to be so simple with David. <em>Used to be.</em></p><p>The unsettling feeling in his stomach was making itself known once again as the reality sank in. Matteo wanted this, he wanted this more than anything. But it had to stop.</p><p>He had spent one too many sleepless nights laying awake beside his best friend, unable to turn his brain off. It was always so loud these days, telling him that he needed to put an end to this. ‘This’ being: indulging in fantasies of being something more.</p><p>David had made it clear that he didn’t feel the same way. The stubborn memory of that damn night Matteo refused to remember was resurfacing again and he shut his eyes tightly to block it out.</p><p>He couldn’t risk letting his more-than-crush, as he secretly referred to it, ruin what they already had. Especially after he promptly had his one flicker of hope distinguished. He treasured their friendship too much.</p><p><em>Friendship.</em> He internally winced.</p><p>“Get off... please,” Matteo said again, quietly now. He felt David stiffen on top of him. He lifted his head and looked down at Matteo, scanning his face for a couple of seconds. Matteo stared off into the distance, refusing to turn his head.</p><p>The moment he looked into those beautiful brown eyes, his resolve would vanish. And poof, just like that he would allow himself to sink back into David’s warmth. Hes learned his lesson by now. Matteo finally decided to put his foot down, he couldn’t back down now.</p><p>“Everything okay?” David asked.</p><p>“Yeah, just...” Matteo put his hand on the other boys shoulder and gently pushed him away.</p><p>David sat up on the bed with his legs crossed, still looking at Matteo. The silence was uncomfortable and he hated it. Silences with David were never uncomfortable.</p>
<p></p><div class="">
<p></p><div class=""><p>He needed to put up these boundaries now, before he fell in even deeper and was unable pull himself out unscathed. Like if David were to start dati- <em>Stop.</em></p></div><div class=""><p>He was tired of feeling like his heart would beat right out his chest every time they touched. Of feeling like he was short of breath just staying still. It couldn’t be good for his health.</p></div><div class=""><p>But still, he held on to no regrets in regards to how he felt. He never wanted to feel this way about anyone else. It was impossible to even conceptualize.</p></div><div class=""><p>Matteo loved loving David. Loving him was easy. The one-sidedness of it all and the need to hide it was the source of the hurt he was currently experiencing. Love really was a double edged sword.</p></div><div class=""><p>Matteo almost scoffed, amused at his own thoughts. <em>So poetic.</em></p></div><div class=""><p>“Why’re you here?” he asked, finally turning to look at David. There was a look of hurt that disappeared quicker than it had appeared. He must have imagined it.</p></div><div class=""><p>David smiled at him. “Oh, do I have to ask permission now?” he teased. David dropping by unannounced was routine. Even on the days when Matteo wanted be alone, he was the one exception. Anybody else would assume that was just because he’s his best friend. Wrong.</p></div><div class=""><p>David’s face slowly fell. “Sorry,” he said. “The door was unlocked, so I let myself in.”</p></div><div class=""><p>“No, it’s all good,” Matteo smiled softly, reassuring him.</p></div><div class=""><p>“That’s dangerous by the way.” David’s teasing tone returned when he saw that Matteo wasn’t upset. “Make sure to always double check,” he continued, pinching Matteo’s cheek. Probably trying to lighten the mood.</p></div><div class=""><p>David’s hand rested on his neck now. He closed his eyes and breathed in slowly, urging his rapidly beating heart to chill out. David never played fair.</p></div><div class=""><p>Sure, he couldn’t possibly know what his actions, and sometimes words, did to Matteo’s emotional stability. But whining about it to himself in his head wasn’t hurting anybody.</p></div><div class=""><p>Matteo just sighed and looked up at the ceiling, pulling David’s hand away. He knew he was being an asshole but they couldn’t keep doing this.</p></div><div class=""><p>He couldn’t bare to look at the expression he imagined was on the other boys face right now. Probably hurt and confused, because of him.</p></div><div class=""><p>He wondered how their relationship had developed the way it did and when. Before he could even ascertain what was happening, they were bordering a dangerous line that only he wanted to cross.</p></div><div class=""><p>Falling asleep in each other’s arms, sitting on each others lap when they had a bit too much to drink, intertwining their fingers just because they could. Matteo would often times find himself staring for longer than was appropriate. His eyes were constantly drawn to the movement of David’s lips when he let his mind wander.</p></div><div class=""><p>Thankfully, David broke the silence after a couple of minutes, saving him from turning into a tomato. “Matteo?” he said.</p></div><div class=""><p>He really shouldn’t be entertaining such forbidden thoughts while the boy they were about was in the same room, and in such close proximity no less.</p></div><div class=""><p>Matteo hummed questioningly. A beat of silence.</p></div><div class=""><p>“Do you want me to leave?” he asked, sounding troubled. <em>Never</em>, Matteo almost said out loud, instinctually. But all he did was shrug.</p></div><div class=""><p>More silence.</p></div><div class=""><p>David nodded. “Okay, I’m gonna head out. I promised Laura that I’d be over for dinner tonight. Just wanted to stop by to say hi, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” He squeezed Matteo’s arm lightly, not waiting for a response, before getting up to leave.</p></div><div class=""><p>“Bye Matteo, love you!” he said lightly as he walked out the door, pulling it closed behind him without looking back.</p></div><div class=""><p>There was that familiar hiccup of his heartbeat again.</p></div><div class=""><p>Matteo sighed, staring at the now vacant spot. <em>Casual as ever.</em></p></div><div class=""><p>Pushing David away when all he wanted to do was hold him close pained him, but it was a necessary practice. He ignored the ache in his chest that argued against that idea.</p></div><div class=""><p>The physical distance would at least help ease the pain of the inevitable when David meets someone some day, he tried to convince himself. This way, he wouldn’t lose his best friend.</p></div><div class=""><p>Maybe Matteo could even be happy for him when that time came.</p></div><div class=""><p>
      <em>Yeah, right.</em>
    </p></div><div class=""><p>He grabbed a pillow and shoved it onto his face, muffling a frustrated groan.</p></div></div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>The moment David stepped over the threshold from Matteo’s apartment, he picked up the pace. He was grateful for the cold evening air, breathing it in through his nose and out through his mouth, trying to clear his mind.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>What was going on? Maybe nothing was going on and it was all in his head. It wasn’t like Matteo was being particularly cold to him. It’s possible that he was just tired. The bigger question was why this “nothing” was affecting him the way it was. It’s not like they had fought or anything. They were fine! So why...</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David physically swatted at the imaginary and metaphorical clouds surrounding his head as he walked. If anybody saw him now, they would think he was insane.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was going back and forth between trying to find excuses to explain away the weighty air that hung around them in Matteo’s room and dismissing it altogether because it was nothing.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After a while of what felt like random pacing he stopped in his tracks, still lost in thought as he somehow miraculously found himself in front of Laura’s place. He lied earlier about their promised dinner plans but it was sounding like a great idea right about now.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He made his way up the stairs, pulling out the spare key that he still kept on him at all times in case of emergencies, like whatever was happening right now. Okay, maybe this wasn’t an emergency. David knew he was being dramatic and his sister would probably tell him that to his face, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask what this could mean from an outsiders perspective. Whatever ‘this’ was.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David walked into the apartment and called out, “Laura?” as he trudged towards the living room. His voice coming out quieter and more ragged than he expected.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey!” Laura greeted, closing her book and getting up from the couch. At the sight of his sister, David immediately felt his face scrunch up. He saw how her pleasantly surprised expression shifted into a worried one. One moment he was fine and the next, his vision was blurred. David roughly wiped away at his eyes with his sleeves. Before he knew it, he was being encompassed by Laura’s arms. He felt all the energy drain from his body as he slumped over, head falling onto her shoulders.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They stood like that for a couple of minutes before Laura pulled away and led him to the couch. David sat down heavily and leaned back, staring up blankly at the ceiling.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Do you wanna talk about what happened?” she asked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David shrugged. Then, “Nothing happened,” he said quietly. He could feel Laura’s eyes on him, probably trying to decipher the meaning behind his words.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Is it about Matteo?” she asked after a moment.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Why did she sound like she was treading so lightly?</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David just looked over at her. “What about him?” he responded. His voice was tinged with a defensiveness that he hadn’t intended on.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Sorry, I...” David continued. “Yeah, it is, but... nothing happened. Really.” He leaned forward, putting his face in his hands. He wasn’t lying. David sighed, pulling them away and looking down at them where they now rested on his lap. “I don’t even know why I’m being like this,” he mumbled, mostly to himself.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He thought back to earlier. How the mood in Matteo’s room shifted in a way that felt completely foreign. He had never pushed David away like that. Maybe the reason he was this affected was the shock that came as a result of the abruptness of it all.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It doesn’t matter though because he felt that this reaction was definitely excessive.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“There’s really nothing worth mentioning. I think I’m just stressed with school so I’m kinda feeling all over the place,” David said. He genuinely wouldn’t be able to communicate what was going on even if he wanted to, so an excuse it is.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Laura didn’t say anything but she was obviously not buying it for one second and waited expectantly for him to continue.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He glanced at her and sighed again, resigning to at least make an attempt at verbalizing the messy thoughts running around in his mind. It might help. So he laid down the events leading up to him ending up at her apartment. He could feel himself blushing once he finished because he was embarrassed at how insignificant it all sounded.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at her.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So what?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What do you think is going on?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Laura laughed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David just stared at her incredulously with his mouth slightly ajar. Did she not see how much he was suffering right now?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“David, come on.” When she saw that he was still very much confused, she looked him straight in the eyes and told him, “You don’t wanna hear what I think, little brother.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Uh... yeah! I kinda do. Why do you think I’m confiding in you right now?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>She shook her head. “David, seriously. You need to figure this out and come to the conclusion yourself.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He threw his head back onto the couch and in true bratty fashion grunted out, “I hate you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Laura gave him a kind smile before moving from her seat. “So, are you hungry?” she asked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He decided that he would deal with this unnamed mess later... eventually, pushing it away to the back of his mind for now.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And as if on queue, his stomach grumbled. They both laughed and headed to the dinner table.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After a bit of catching up and filling his stomach with delicious food, David left Laura’s feeling slightly better. She had asked if he wanted to stay over but he unfortunately had class early the next morning. So now here he was, sitting in the bus, having decided on taking it over walking since it was getting pretty late. Not to mention, the exhaustion from the days occurrences were starting to kick in.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>If he were to be completely honest with himself, he was still feeling pretty down. David sighed, pulling out his phone and going to his recents, clicking on Matteo’s name without hesitation. Because even though he might be the reason David felt the way he did right now, Matteo was also the only person, besides his sister, he wanted to talk to when he wasn’t feeling his best.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey,” Matteo answered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hm? Are you outside?” Matteo asked after a couple of seconds.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah, I just left Laura’s. I’m heading over to my dorm now.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Cool. Be careful, okay? It’s pretty late.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Already, David felt a little bit lighter. “I will.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They went on to talk about random trivial things that neither of them would remember the next day; what they each had for dinner, Matteo’s adventures while playing Zelda, David’s recent complaints about his Art History class.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You sound tired.” Matteo observed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He chuckled, “I am a bit, but I’m feeling better now.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Thanks to me?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Matteo,” David warned.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“David,” Matteo said, mimicking his tone. “You’re lucky I’m free right now, but you’re no exception. You know that I charge for my services.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David rolled his eyes but couldn’t hold back the smile that spread widely across his face. “Fuck off, Florenzi.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“My time is money.” He could hear Matteo giggling on the other end.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David suddenly felt so relieved at their easy banter. Maybe he had overreacted. Nothing had changed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I just needed to hear your voice,” he said seriously, all joking aside.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Any time,” Matteo responded after a short moment, his voice returning to its usual gentle tone.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They stayed in comfortable silence, not exchanging any words. This wasn’t unusual, especially during their late night phone calls. There was a comfort in knowing Matteo was there on the other end of the line. Just listening to the shuffling of his thick blankets as he rolled over in bed. Keeping each other company even when they were apart.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Soon, David reached his stop by the campus and alighted the bus. It wasn’t long before he reached his dorm. He was lucky enough to have a single room all to himself. Which meant no roommates that would result in him feeling like he couldn’t live comfortably in his own space. Sure, it was tiny; just enough for a twin bed and a desk, but it also had the perk of having its own tiny bathroom while also being affordable.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There were a few small potted plants that lined the windowsill and some pieces of art decorating the walls. An attempt at making it feel homey and similar to his room back at Laura’s.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He pressed the speaker button on his phone with Matteo still on the line, tossing it to the bed as he changed out of his clothes and into a loose shirt and sweats. Once he was done brushing his teeth and ready to knock out for the night, he pulled the phone back up to his ears and got comfortable under the covers.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David yawned.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“David?” Matteo said, sounding just as sleepy as he felt.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hm?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Goodnight.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Goodnight,” he whispered back.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“See you tomorrow.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Mhm...”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He vaguely remembered ending the call before drifting off to sleep.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The roman numeral is basically just to show that it's a "flashback" chapter. It counts down, leading up to when chapter 1 took place. I just didn't want it to be confusing and needed some sort of indicator.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[IV]</p>
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>Matteo wanted nothing more than to leap onto David’s lap and burrow his face in his neck to hide away from whatever was happening on screen.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The boys were gathered together watching “Paranormal Activity.” David had insisted when all of them but Jonas had admitted to never watching it before. Matteo had heard a multitude of things about it over the years and it was mostly people saying that it wasn’t even that scary. Those people were fucking liars.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He had a deathly grip on David’s hand and was thankful that he didn’t seem to mind how sweaty his own was. He would have chucked away the blanket they were sharing but he needed it to shield his eyes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You alright there?” David sounded as if he was trying not to laugh.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Fuck you,” Matteo hissed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m not doing anything.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo wasn’t big on horror movies, but of course he has watched his fair share of them. What with David, the movie enthusiast, being his best friend. He even genuinely enjoyed some. The thing is, he much preferred horror movies like “It” over ones that had to do with poltergeists and posessions.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was something especially eerie about the way this one was so unprocessed. It felt like they were watching the events happen to real people. If he didn’t know any better, he would have believed it if someone told him the footage was authentic. At least there’s a comfort in knowing that it’s not.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He would probably be repeating that to himself when he’s too afraid to close his eyes for more than two seconds in the shower, because he will be.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo was fully curled up against David’s side now with his knees up and his head on his shoulder. The blanket was pulled up to his nose by the hand that was currently not preoccupied. Matteo could feel David turn and press his lips against his head and although he’s still scared shitless, it does help him relax a bit.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jonas was sitting to his other side on the couch, leaning forward and extremely focused on what was going on. Abdi and Carlos on the other hand were on the smaller couch, each hugging pillows. Carlos had a huge grin plastered onto his face while Abdi was evidently not doing any better than Matteo was.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The movie was nearing its end and he watched the rest of it with squinted eyes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Once it was finished Matteo let out a breath, unfolding his stiff body but still not letting go of David’s hand.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So, you guys are all staying the night, right?” he joked, after Jonas flicked on the lights.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They talked about the movie for a bit afterwards and what their favorite parts were. Matteo had no favorite parts. “I hated it all,” he said.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Honestly speaking though, he did like it and thought it was great. But that doesn’t change the fact that he would have trouble going to sleep the following days to come. That kind of overrode his enjoyment.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Well, that was fun!” Carlos said, standing up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m worried your apartment is cursed or something now that we watched that movie here,” Abdi said as he stretched. Despite how tightly he was clutching the pillow earlier, he seemed to have reverted back to normal now. Matteo could not relate.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Maybe we should get a ouija board next time,” Jonas teased, looking at him as he said it.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Dude, shut up. If you guys do that shit here, I’m moving in with David.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Excuse me?” David laughed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What? I can’t live with a demon. Are you gonna leave me on the streets?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Bro, it’s only fair. You practically live in Luigi’s room, it should go both ways,” Jonas said.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David rolled his eyes and made to get up as well when Matteo yanked him down, hard. “Where do you think you’re going?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Do you want me to stay over tonight?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Uh, yeah?” Matteo sounded as if he didn’t understand why the question was even being presented. “This is your fault. Take some responsibility.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“How is it my fault that you’re scared?” David asked, squishing Matteo’s cheeks so his lips protruded out. He was obviously very amused.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Whatever,” Matteo managed to mumble. He pulled and turned his head, aiming to bite David’s hand as he did so.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They were in bed now. David was laying on his back with an arm thrown behind his head while Matteo hugged the other like a koala.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Was it really that bad? This is the most scared I’ve ever seen you.” David sounded curious and a little worried now, too.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t know, there’s something about it being so... real life-like. I swear to god I’m gonna be paranoid about being possessed for weeks.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>This, he did laugh at.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When the natural hush of darkness fell upon them, Matteo spoke up again. Quieter this time. “David, what time is it?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He hummed quietly and lifted up his phone. The light hurt Matteo’s eyes, making him groan.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Almost 3.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He snuggled in closer.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What is it?” David whispered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo just pressed himself harder against his side. So David lifted the arm he was holding to tuck it beneath his head and wrap it around his shoulders. Matteo pulled the comforter even tighter around them before closing his eyes again. He sighed contently, feeling safe.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I hope you know you’re staying here for the entire weekend,” he murmured. The rumble of David’s quiet laughter was the last thing he felt before drifting off to sleep.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo blinked awake with the comforting sensation of someone playing with his hair.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Good morning,” David whispered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He opened his eyes just a slit and smiled up lazily. “Morning.” He couldn’t quite read the expression on David’s face in his sleep muddled state.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Everything was so warm and snug. <em>Is this what it would feel like to sleep on a cloud?</em> If only he could stop time and stay in this moment forever.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Do you smell that?” David asked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo flung his arm and leg over him to make it clear that he hadn’t intended on vacating the bed any time soon.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Come on,” he said, laughing and sitting up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When Matteo’s attempts at dragging David back down beside him were met with failure, he sighed and begrudgingly got up as well.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They stepped out into the living room after a few minutes and were hit with the waft of a sweet aroma. Jonas was awake and making breakfast.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Good morning to the happy couple,” he said in the midst of a yawn.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Pancakes. Nice,” Matteo mumbled, still half asleep as he sat on the stool by the island.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Thanks, man,” David said to Jonas, and poured himself a fresh mug of coffee.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David did end up staying over again. They had spent a full, unproductive day off by getting ice cream, ordering takeout, smoking a joint, and lazing around.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was far into the late hours of night and the curtains were left wide open, letting a velvety glow soak into the room. The moonlight had an effect of making everything appear dreamlike and delicate.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo stared with half-lidded eyes at David’s moonlit face, finding comfort at the simple rise and fall of his breath.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was in these very specific moments that he allowed his mind to wander and fantasized about what he yearned for them to be.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo reached over and gently ran his fingertips over David’s eyebrow and down his cheeks, moving slowly towards his lips. Careful not to disturb him in his sleep and shatter the illusion.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was conscious of the fact that if he were to close the distance between them and they awoke the next morning tangled up in each others arms, it would still be a semblance of their normalcy. Acknowledging that shouldn’t hurt, but it does. And of course he wanted it, but not like this.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>It’s not enough.</em> He didn’t have it in him right now to berate himself for being selfish.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>So he shuffled his body closer to David’s and let himself pretend. It’s just one more tally in the long list of nights Matteo has spent in the exact same way.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div class="">
  <p>Matteo sat in his Sociology class with his elbow on the table and his chin resting on the palm of his hand. At least pretending to pay attention to the professor, whose words were going in one ear and out the other. Class was almost over and he couldn’t be bothered to put in any actual effort at this point.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He wasn’t exactly bursting with energy on a good day, but due to him having had less than his required 8 hours of sleep the night before, he was ready to turn his brain off, despite it still being the early afternoon.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His head whipped up, focusing on the professors words, only at the sudden mention of his name. <em>Oh yeah</em>, he remembered. She had been talking about a presentation they were to begin working on. It seemed to have slipped by him that it would be one that required pairing up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His head fell onto his arms on the desk, already dreading being forced to socialize with some random person in class who may or not be okay with having him as a partner.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo was aware that he wasn’t exactly ideal to work with for some. He did what he needed to without exerting any unnecessary energy on befriending whoever he was paired up with. Never saying anything more than was needed. It was nothing personal, it was just how he was. Not everyone took well to that, and hes had more than one experience of being treated with passive aggression because of it. Even though, in his opinion, it shouldn’t even be an issue. And as long as they got the grade, it didn’t really bother him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>That being said, he obviously preferred doing things on his own. There was much less pressure when all he needed to focus on was his own work. Having to keep tabs on others’ progress stressed him out. The upcoming presentation was a two person thing though so that was less of a burden.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Another positive: he didn’t have to brave choosing his partner himself this time, which was always extremely awkward. Everyone else pairing up easily, leaving him and the other Unchosen One.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hi!” A cheerful voice startled him out of his thoughts. He lifted his head to see a a pair of green eyes and a wide smile looking back at him. “Matteo, right? I’m Jake.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo nodded. “Uh, yeah, I know.” It might seem like it, but he’s not so disinterested that he doesn’t know at least a few of the other students names. Especially at this point.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The other boy seemed surprised by this. “Oh,” he said, looking down. Matteo just stared at him, waiting for him to speak.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Uh...” Matteo said awkwardly when it was clear he wasn’t going to say anything. “So where should we meet to work on the presentation? My place or yours? The library works too if that’s what you’re comfortable with.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Anywhere is fine with me,” he said, smiling widely again.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Cool,” Matteo said, pulling out his phone and handing it to Jake who looked at him with wide eyes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh, right,” Jake said after a beat, taking his own phone out.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After exchanging numbers, they packed up their things and got up to leave. As they walked out of the classroom, they went over when they were free and what time was convenient, quickly deciding on the first meetup day. They could schedule the rest of their project meetups then.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He politely listened to Jake chatter on as they headed towards the campus cafeteria for lunch when somebody called Matteo’s name, prompting him to turn around. He smiled when he saw David holding his hand up in a greeting. He turned back to Jake to say goodbye when he noticed his somewhat stiff expression. But before Matteo could think anything of it, he schooled it back into his seemingly default cheerful one, waving to him and going on ahead.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Suddenly, his vision went dark as a pair of hands covered his eyes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Guess who,” David whispered into his ear, making his hair stand up and goosebumps run up his neck. He clicked his tongue and pushed David’s arms away.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You didn’t even guess,” he pouted.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo rolled his eyes and said, “You’re so annoying,” not sounding annoyed in the slightest. David laughed and he couldn’t help the way the corner of his mouth turned up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Let’s go, I’m starving!” David pulled him along by the hand to their usual spot, causing butterflies to stir up in his stomach at the contact.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He contemplated whether or not this broke his new personal rules. Matteo sighed looking down at their joined hands. He tightened his grip for a split second before pulling away.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>David and Matteo quickly grabbed their lunch, a deli sandwich each, before heading over their usual table. They could hear their friends even from a distance, loud as ever. David was soon able to make out their words as him and Matteo approached. They were going on about something that had to do with Abdi’s game, or lack thereof. Jonas was the only one who paid them any mind. “Hey, boys! Connected at the hip as usual I see.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David ignored him, sitting down beside Matteo who was now sat in between him and Jonas. There was no pause to Abdi and Carlos’ bickering from across the table.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was used to the teasing, if it could even be called that anymore, when it came to him and Matteo. Neither of them ever cared enough to even react.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David made to unwrap his sandwich when suddenly, “Jonas stop, okay? It’s not funny anymore.” His hands froze. Matteo’s voice was quiet, just loud enough that it was clearly only meant for Jonas to hear, but the seriousness of his tone was a bit surprising. Since when did that bother him? A reminder of the day before.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jonas was looking at Matteo with an expression that David could only imagine mirrored his own. But suddenly there was something else there, a knowing look, before he patted Matteo on the shoulder saying “Sorry, bro,” who nodded in acceptance.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David couldn’t look away, wanting to read whatever was written on Matteo’s face. He didn’t look upset though, just... tired. When blue eyes met his own, he raised an eyebrow in question. Matteo just gave him a small smile before unwrapping his own food and digging in.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A couple of days later, the group was gathered again for lunch. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So what do you guys think? This weekend?” Jonas’ voice brought David’s focus back to the conversation at hand.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What was that?” He was busy glancing over at the guy Matteo was talking to before, whose eyes kept wandering over to their table, and to Matteo specifically.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Small get-together,” Jonas told him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“At ours?” Matteo asked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jonas laughed, “Dude, where else?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“We can’t. I’m busy with a presentation until next week, but I could do next weekend. I mean, I guess you guys can go ahead without me. I could ask my partner to meet up somewhere else that day.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No bro, there’s no point if we’re not all there,” Jonas said, sounding sad and disappointed. “What about next weekend? Saturday evening?” He looked around at them.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was a chorus of yeah’s and sure’s.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Awesome!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Luigi, that guy keeps looking at you,” Abdi giggled, jutting his chin towards the boy with brown hair.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>So he wasn’t imagining it.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Where?” Carlos exclaimed, sounding way too excited.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They all turned to look where he was sitting with a couple of friends. When he saw Matteo looking back at him, he waved shyly. His pink cheeks seemingly due more to Matteo looking at him rather than the whole group of them staring.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>Ah</em>. David’s eyes widened slightly at the sudden realization. The recognition.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was an uncomfortable twisting in his stomach. He ignored it.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo sent the guy a kind smile before turning back to take a bite of his food.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Who’s that?” David asked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Jake. From my Sociology class.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Seems like more than just Jake From Sociology,” Carlos teased.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Weird that he’s acknowledging you outside of class,” Jonas said slowly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Gee, thanks,” Matteo replied sarcastically.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No, I mean, he kinda looked like...”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“He’s obviously into you, bro!” Abdi jumped in. Matteo looked at him with a face that said <em>are you serious right now?</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Dude, I’ve known him for like a day,” Matteo countered. “We’re just partners for the project.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“For now,” Carlos said, wiggling his eyebrows.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Carlos, come on,” David said, stopping him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What, are you jealous?” he laughed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo turned to David, waiting. For what? He didn’t know. He exasperatedly told Carlos to shut up, earning him another cackle.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David checked the time on his phone before standing up to leave. “Okay guys, gotta go,” he said, throwing his bag over his shoulder. He said bye to each of the boys before playfully ruffling Matteo’s already messy hair.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>As he left the cafeteria to go to his next class, he felt an invisible pressure behind his head. When he turned around, he was met with Jake From Sociology looking at him, turning away as soon as David’s eyes met his.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>[III]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David rolled his eyes fondly, trying to hold back the laughter that was bubbling up inside him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No, seriously, David. You should see your face!” Matteo said, cracking up. His shoulders were shaking with silent giggles and bursts of squeaks. It was as if they were trying to escape his throat too rapidly for his voice to catch up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They were sitting in a Starbucks that recently opened up near campus. Matteo was mocking the, apparently, hilariously stiff and awkward smile he constantly wore around a girl from his class who wouldn’t leave him alone. He described it as being ‘like the Debby Ryan meme but less confident.’</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo attempted to imitate it for a split second before bursting out into laughter again, causing David to scrunch up his nose in response to how cute he looked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>She was a nice girl but he really wasn’t interested. He wasn’t sure how to let her down kindly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You’re too nice for your own good,” Matteo told him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Am not,” he countered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Are too.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yes.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Mm-mm.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Uh-huh.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David shook his head.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo nodded.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Suddenly, even the way they were staring at each other became a challenge. Neither looking away, neither blinking. The cheeky grin that was plastered on Matteo’s face seconds ago was dissolving and a blush was spreading across his cheeks. He was always quick to be embarrassed when it came to holding eye contact. Matteo’s eyes slid down.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ha!” David yelled. “I won.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Whatever,” Matteo mumbled, running his hand through his fringe and pulling it down again.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What about you? Anyone you’re into these days?” David asked, steering the conversation the other direction.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>This wasn’t a topic they usually discussed. He didn’t doubt that Matteo would tell him if there was someone, wondering to himself why he even brought it up. David only realized how curious he actually was to hear the answer once the words had escaped him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo shrugged. “Not really interested in dating right now.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David hummed in response. He thought that would be the end of that. But then Matteo’s face turned playful again.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Why? Is there someone you wanna introduce me to?” The words held no real weight.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A lightbulb lit up in David’s head as he belatedly decides to get Matteo back. “Maybe,” he said as one of the baristas called out his name. David got up to get their drinks.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He pursed his lips as he sat back down, pretending to be hesitant. “You see that guy?” David tilted his head towards the person behind the counter who was taking orders. “What do you think of him?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He had messy brown hair, but messy in a way that was calculated. Styled with considerable effort to make it appear low effort.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo turned to look over his shoulder. He shrugged again, turning back. “He’s cute,” he responded, sounding like he couldn’t care less.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David wouldn’t be his best friend if he didn’t know exactly which buttons to push in order to turn Matteo into a bumbling mess, despite his disinterest.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So, actually...” David continued, dragging out the words a bit. He paused dramatically and Matteo stared at him in puzzlement. “Since we’re on the topic of dating...”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What...” he said nervously.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“How would you feel about meeting my friend, Matteo?” A bright smile slowly spread across David’s face before he swiftly stood up, managing to get out a “Hey-” before Matteo grabbed his arm, holding him back.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David’s poker face almost cracked right then and there at seeing how his eyes had widened.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You’re joking right?” Matteo whisper-shouted.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David stared back at his comical expression, feigning innocence. But it didn’t last long because he couldn’t hold it in any longer. Now he was laughing as hard as Matteo had been earlier, falling back onto his seat.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo leaned back heavily and breathed out an annoyed, “Fuck you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“That’s what you get for making fun of me,” he said.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David could see the hint of a smile behind the cup as Matteo took a sip of his drink.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They called a truce.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A while later, their phones started buzzing simultaneously. The group chat. Matteo got up to buy himself a brownie so David was left to respond to the messages. The boys were asking where they were, saying that they were all at Matteo and Jonas’ place and ready to ‘get the party started.’ In reality they were just gonna hang out to play Mario Kart and drink some beer. David texted back to let the guys know they were on their way.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>As they made their way out, a cheerful voice behind them said, “Have a good day!” Both turned and smiled at the barista politely in thanks. It was the boy behind the counter with brown hair and green eyes. Only now, he was donning flushed cheeks as well.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo’s words echoed in David’s head. <em>He’s cute, huh?</em></p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p></p><div class="">
  <p><strong>David:</strong> <em>Matteo</em></p>
  <p>
    <em>Matteooo</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Matteo:</strong> <em>yeees?</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>David:</strong> <em>I’m bored</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Can I come over</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Matteo:</strong> 🙄</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>okay ig</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>David:</strong> 💜</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was Friday night and Matteo was laying in bed playing games on his laptop when a ping lit up his phone screen. He didn’t even try to wipe the silly grin off his face as he saw the texts from David. Who cares, there was no one there to witness how gone he was for his more-than-crush.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>Boundaries!</em> His brain wasn’t letting up today either. But that was good, it was what he needed. So Matteo made his way to the living room and away from the bed. It was always so tempting with its warmth and its coziness. Perfect for cuddling up in with a certain someone.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo shook his head, mentally cursing the innocent furniture. To the couch. Right. This was a start.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jonas was slouched over by the door, putting on his shoes as Matteo flopped down onto the couch.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m meeting up with Hanna,” he explained.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo hummed in acknowledgement, pulling out his phone to order pizza as Jonas yelled out a quick goodbye.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Immediately after he hung up the phone, his mind started racing: But wait, it’s late. Jonas probably won’t be back for the night. What if David ends up wanting to stay over like always? It’s not like Matteo could kick him out without making things weird. But he wanted him to stay. So then how would he even go about asking David to sleep on the couch? Maybe if he wrapped himself up like a burrito he’d be less likely to snuggle up to him in his sleep.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The buzzer rang. <em>Fuck.</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He ran to let David up and waited with the door open.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey,” Matteo said, immediately clearing his throat to try to hide how breathless he sounded. David pulled him into a tight hug, drawing back before he could even breathe in the scent of him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hungry!” David complained as he walked in.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo smiled. “I ordered pizza.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Awesome.” David was sitting on the center of the couch now with his jacket thrown over the arm of it and Matteo’s laptop already in his hands. “Wanna watch a movie?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Sure.” Matteo plopped down beside to him. “Are you staying over tonight?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Don’t you have to work on your presentation tomorrow?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Jake and I aren’t meeting until the afternoon, so it’s cool.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David’s hands freeze for a second. “Hmm,” he nodded slowly, then continued to scroll. “How’s that going by the way?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Great. We’ve been able to stay on schedule and right now we’re over halfway finished.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No, I mean...”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hm?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Jake.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What about him?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“How’s it going with him?” David asked, eyes not the leaving the screen.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He shrugged. “Pretty chill. I mean, he’s a good project partner.” There really wasn’t much else to say. They might have spent hours together the past week, but conversations stayed strictly professional. So he knew nothing about the guy, not really. “He’s nice,” Matteo concluded.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David hummed again, looking at him now. He stared back at the eyes that bore into his own. Matteo could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. But instead of looking away, he asked, “What?” His voice coming out as a whisper.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David blinked and turned away, looking as if he snapped back into attention after zoning out. “So,” he said, as if whatever-that-was-that-just-happened hadn’t just happened. He was completely unaffected. Matteo was truly in a hopeless situation. “Horror? Comedy? What are you in the mood for?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It would do him no good to dwell on it. “Twilight,” he said flatly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David was the usually the one who took the lead for their movie nights and Matteo always happily obliged. Spending time together was what he got his enjoyment from anyways, so it never mattered much to him one way or another. But since there didn’t seem to be anything David was keen on him seeing tonight, he might as well have some fun with it.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What?” David asked, with a small laugh.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What?” he challenged.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David just smiled at him, shaking his head slightly. “Alright then.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I won,” Matteo said, poking his cheek.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah, yeah.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The buzzer went off and Matteo grabbed the pizza and brought it to the coffee table as David, who was now carrying a blanket, turned the lights off.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ready, dear?” He asked as Matteo took his seat.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yes, dear,” Matteo responded, grabbing a slice.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They got comfortable and pressed play.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The two were thoroughly enjoying themselves. Snickering at parts they weren’t sure were supposed to be funny, watching intently when things got serious, making unnecessary comments about how bad the vampire makeup and contacts looked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>So yeah, it was all fun and games. Until the kissing scene began.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo felt extremely uncomfortable. He wanted to fidget, get up and move, anything. But because he didn’t want David to know about the inner turmoil that was currently consuming him, he forced himself to sit still. Rigid as a rock. It felt like even his eyes would creek if he moved them.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David wasn’t saying anything and Matteo was suddenly very conscious of how loudly he was breathing as he sat there practically drowning in his own sweat. <em>Is this the end?</em> He desperately prayed that a black hole would open up in the middle of the living room and swallow him up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I need to...” David finally broke the silence and his voice came out slightly rough. <em>As if things couldn’t get any worse.</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo finally turned his head and waited for him to continue, not trusting himself to speak.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I kinda wanna change out of these clothes,” David said. “Mind if I borrow something to sleep in?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo just stared. He hadn’t realized how closely they were sitting, their faces only a few inches apart.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Matteo...”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His heart was pounding. <em>Get it together.</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah, of course!” he said a bit too loudly. “Go ahead.” David looked at him for a few seconds before standing up. He was probably confused as to why Matteo was yelling. “Want me to pause the movie?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No, it’s cool. I’ll be fast.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>As soon as he disappeared into the room, Matteo let out the breath he was holding and fell heavily onto his back.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Fuck,” he breathed out. He needed to regain his composure.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A minute or so later, David came back sitting at Matteo’s feet. He patted his legs, offering his thighs as a pillow. Matteo shook his head and sat up. Significant progress.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Once the credits began to roll, David asked him if he wanted to go to sleep. But he really didn’t think he would be able to survive that at the moment, so Matteo lied and said he wanted to watch the second movie.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Whatever you say,” David said with a smile.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo woke up the next morning with a comforting physical weight on his stomach. He lay there for a bit, feeling much too at peace, unwilling to face the day just yet.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Then, he slowly opened his eyes to find himself still in the living room. He gazed down to see David’s arm thrown over his torso and his face pressed against his side. Matteo smiled as he shuffled a bit and looked up, their eyes meeting.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hi,” David raspily whispered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo allowed himself to relish in the moment for a few seconds.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Okay, that’s enough gawking.</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He peeled David’s arm off of him and moved to rest his head on the opposite side of the couch.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They were laying together in silence when the buzzer went off. Matteo idly wondered if Jonas forgot his keys. He got up to let him in as David mumbled something about putting his binder on. Matteo left the door unlocked and went back to the couch. But then there was a knock.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s open!” he called out. Another knock.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo sighed loudly and dragged his feet to the door. But when he opened it, the person who greeted him was, in fact, not Jonas.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Jake?” He asked incredulously. “What are you doing here?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He stared at Matteo with wide eyes and pink cheeks.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jake cleared his throat. “Our presentation?” he said, vaguely motioning to his bag.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Fuck.” Matteo ran a hand over his face. “What time is it?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Half past 12,” Jake said with a fond smile.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Shit. Sorry. Come in.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jake made his way in and onto the couch. He began to take out the necessities and placed them on the coffee table, along with his laptop, before moving to sit on the floor. “Slept in?” he asked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah, sorry. Do you want coffee?” Matteo offered, before remembering it’s already the afternoon.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No, thank you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Okay, let me just-”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The door to his room opened.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David peeked his head out saying, “Matteo, I think I wanna go back to... sleep.” His words slowed down at the sight of their unexpected guest. “Yeah, I’m just gonna...” He pointed over his shoulder and swiftly shut the door.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo continued, “Let me just change and shit. I’m really sorry, I’ll be just a sec,” and went to his room.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Once inside, he shuffled over the the bathroom to brush his teeth.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What’s he doing here?” David was laying on the bed with an arm over his eyes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Have you checked the time? It’s almost 1.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When Matteo was finished, he grabbed the first pair of jeans he could find and changed into them. Only realizing after the fact that they were too fitting to be his own.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He walked back to the living room with David following from behind.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo apologized again.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t think he minds,” David said with a smirk.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I thought you were going back to sleep. We need to start working, so.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I was, but I’m actually feeling pretty awake now anyways so I’m just gonna head out. Wouldn’t wanna get in the way.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“David, you’re still wearing my sweats,” Matteo scolded.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I mean, I’d change into my jeans, but...” he glanced down, amusement evident in his tone.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Just borrow one of mine then.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah, I don’t think so.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Whatever,” Matteo said, waving his arm carelessly and sitting down on the floor beside the coffee table.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Call me later.” David squeezed his shoulder as he walked by, glancing at Jake without a word.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah,” he said, opening his laptop. “Lock the door on your way out.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David let out an affirmative sound.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo heard the door click and turned to Jake, who had his lips pursed and an unhappy expression on his face.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m really sorry, man,” he said again. “Let’s get started.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He began summarizing their latest progress and going into what he thinks they should be able to get through by the end of the session. But Jake wasn’t being very receptive, not showing any signs that he was paying any attention to his words at all.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Are you guys together?” he asked out of the blue.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo furrowed his brows and blurted out, “David?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He could feel the annoyance rising up. He supposed it wasn’t fair, but the topic was a sensitive one. And it wasn’t something he wished to discuss with someone who was no more than an acquaintance. “I don’t see how that’s relevant to the presentation,” he said, somehow managing to sound calm and collected.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah, you’re right. Of course. Sorry,” Jake said, looking embarrassed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“But no.” Matteo was staring hard at his computer screen. “We’re not.” He did his best to hide whatever his voice might reveal.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And they got to work.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So,” Jonas began after Jake left. “Are you guys are getting along well?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo shrugged, “I guess.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jonas obviously had more that he wanted to say so he waited.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You should give it a shot, you know... Jake seems nice enough.” When he saw the look on Matteo’s face, he continued with a wink, “And he’s not bad to look at.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo sighed. He never actually told Jonas about his feelings for David, not directly at least. Jonas had figured it out on his own, which was only natural when he thought about it.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His friend only had his best interest in mind, he knew that. But that didn’t make him feel any less inclined to want to brush it off like it was no big deal and hide away in his room.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And the topic of Jake? Well, Matteo wasn’t completely dense.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I can’t,” he said.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jonas nodded. “I just think it might help you move on is all.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I know. Thanks, man.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jonas still looked like he had more to say.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What?” Matteo asked. He could hear the sadness that was seeped into his voice and suddenly felt exhausted.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I just don’t understand.” He was speaking very carefully. “Why did you give up before even trying with David? The way I see it-”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Jonas,” he warned.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jonas held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, bro. Just... you can talk to me. You know that, right?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo nodded.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Okay.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was time for a nap.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>[II]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was nothing but the low thrumming of the music and the sound of their steady breathing.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo’s eyes traced the lines and curves of David’s face. Taking in the curl of his thick lashes, the brown of his eyes, the pink of his cheeks, and the pout of his lips.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David was drawing random patterns up and down the length of Matteo’s arm with his fingertips, featherlight, barely brushing the skin.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They lay on their sides, face to face. Hiding away from the rest of the partygoers outside the safety of their tranquil little bubble.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo couldn’t gauge what time it currently was. The two of them were drunk and sleepy, which was a situation they often found themselves in. Wanting to get away from it all yet still desiring each others company.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He passively wondered what his life would be like without David. <em>Lonely</em>.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>This wasn’t to say that he didn’t appreciate his other friends, he treasured them immensely. But it was different with David. It always has been. It was by some miracle that they ran into each on that fated day back in high school. There was something about him that beguiled Matteo, who was never the type of person to initiate friendly conversation with strangers.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He truly believed that there couldn’t possibly be anyone else in the world who understood him the same way David did. Calling him his ‘best friend’ felt ridiculously insufficient.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was a realization Matteo had come to over a year ago. It was after graduation and they were about to start university. He had this irrational fear that David would meet a bunch of new friends, artsy and like-minded people who had all the same interests, and it would result in them drifting apart. He told David as much, but he just laughed and said that he was being ridiculous. The panic that spiraled prior to the admission all but tore him up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The realization? Matteo was in love with him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The newfound knowledge of his more-than-crush was less of a revelation and more like another piece of the puzzle that made up Matteo settled into its rightful place. It was simple and it was factual, so it was easy enough to accept.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo never even considered coming clean about how he felt. Quite frankly, he had grown contented with their shows of affection. And for a while he thought that he could live with keeping things the way they were. But his greed started to grow alongside his feelings.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He wanted David. In more ways than he ever wanted anyone else before.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He looked at the boy across from him and reached out to lightly cup his jaw. David’s already heavily lidded eyes fluttered shut. He sighed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo moved his thumb to brush over his bottom lip and then pressed lightly against the plumpy center. The corner of David’s mouth twitched up and he exhaled a small laugh through his nose.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His lips were so soft and the warmth of it spread through Matteo’s body from his fingertips. He wanted nothing more than to lean in and press his own lips against them.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What are you thinking?” David murmured.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Nothing,” he whispered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David smiled, disbelieving.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What are you thinking?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“That your eyes are really pretty. Have I ever told you that?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo’s stomach flipped. “Yeah, like every time you drink,” he chuckled. “And you’re not even looking at me.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’ve seen them enough times to form an opinion.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Is that right?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Mhm.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo pulled his hand back and scooted in a little bit closer, until their noses were only centimeters apart. And then some more, until their foreheads were pressed together.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Just say it.</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He had always been afraid of the repercussions of a possible rejection if he were to ever confess. But right now his insides were buzzing with a rush of bravery. He quickly grabbed hold of the sensation before it left him with nothing but regret.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I really wanna kiss you,” Matteo mumbled, his voice low and nearly inaudible. But he was sure David heard the words and understood them. He always did.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David opened his eyes now. They were glassy and his pupils were blown wide. He pulled away slightly and Matteo felt his heart drop. But then a smirk fell upon his face.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Why don’t you?” he challenged.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo just blinked at him, wondering if he was hallucinating and possibly hearing things. Maybe he had actually fallen asleep and this was a dream. But if that were the case, maybe he should take advantage of the chance he was presented with. His cheeks heated up at the embarrassing, and not to mention desperate, thought.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David’s eyes moved down to rest on his lips, then shifted back up to meet Matteo’s. There was such an intensity in the look and it drew him in like a magnet. He cautiously began to lean in when suddenly David’s lips crashed into his. He let out a small sound of surprise before reciprocating the pressure and kissing him back. Something shot through him and it felt like electricity was coursing through his veins.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo was certain this was real. This was actually happening.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His hand was at the back of David’s head instantly while the other tugged at the front of his shirt, trying to pull him even closer. The hand that found itself buried in Matteo’s hair the second their lips met started to make its way down to grip around his waist, pressing their bodies tightly together. They kissed and kissed, legs tangled, desperate.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He climbed on top of David, their lips never parting.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Fuck,” David somehow managed to breath out in between kisses.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo hummed against his mouth in response, not wanting to stop even for a second. There was no slowing down. Hes wanted this for so long, it was impossible to show any restraint.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He began planting kisses along David’s jaw and then to his neck, licking the soft skin before sucking at the spot where he could feel his pulse pounding.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David let out a quiet, airy laugh.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo could hear him breathing heavily beside his ear and it was effectively driving him insane.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He gasped in surprise when he felt hands traveling underneath his shirt and up the skin of his bare back and waist. It was like being touched by a live wire.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Their lips hurriedly found each other again and they continued to exchange hungry kisses. Hands moving over each others faces and fisting in each others hair. The intensity of it all was making Matteo’s heart pound in his chest, threatening to burst out.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He caught David’s bottom lip in between his teeth as he reached down to pull his shirt over his head, eliciting a sound that made heat rush through his body. But before he could, there was a loud banging that forced them apart.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Luigi! Daweed! Are you guys in there?!” Carlos’ voice shouted from outside the door.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“We’re going now, goodnight!” Abdi this time. “Hello?!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“They’re probably sleeping.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A couple more knocks.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Okay, bye!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Sweet dreams!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They heard giggling as the boys walked away.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo didn’t even realize that music was no longer playing until their footsteps faded away into a deafening silence.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When he turned his head to look at David who was still laying underneath him, he wasn’t prepared for the sight that greeted him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David was staring up at him with messy hair and red cheeks, practically panting. Matteo’s eyes landed on the darkened mark on his neck and the reality of what they had just done dawned on him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>Did that seriously just happen?</em> He had to remind himself to breathe.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Um...”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was something in the way David said that otherwise insignificant word that made Matteo roll off of him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Mind if I borrow something for bed?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo didn’t know what to say. Just hearing him, he would’ve thought that David wasn’t nearly as affected as he was after what happened. The only thing betraying the idea was his current state of dishevelment.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He nodded and gestured to his wardrobe. David got up and grabbed a couple of things before heading to the bathroom to change. Once he was inside, Matteo did the same before flopping back on the bed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He sprawled out onto his back wondering if - hoping - that they would continue where they left off and decided that he would wait for David to make the first move. But once he joined Matteo back on the bed, David simply smiled and said, “Goodnight,” before turning and laying with his back to him. The way the mood shifted around them kept Matteo from reaching out and holding him as they fell asleep.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After a while, he miraculously managed to doze off while replaying what happened between them in his mind non-stop. When he woke up the following afternoon, the space beside him was cold and empty.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>[I]</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Its been about a couple weeks since that night in Matteo’s room. They were at the usual park playing some ping pong. David and Matteo sat perched up on the unoccupied table beside the one the others were playing on.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>In the morning that followed what happened, David had left without a word because he wasn’t sure how to face Matteo afterwards. No matter how touchy they got while drunk, things had never gone that far. Plainly put, he was afraid that things would be weird between them so he ran from having to deal with it. And Matteo seemed to have no qualms about them returning to their usual dynamics.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After some thinking, David decided that he was prepared to discuss it if Matteo brought it up first, but he never did. And before he knew it, this much time had passed. It was an avoidance tactic and a sorry excuse. But because of that, he had simply assumed that they were on the same page and there was no need for further discussion. Still, there was something gnawing at him. Like an itch he couldn’t scratch that could only be relieved after properly breaching the topic.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He glanced at Matteo now, laughing at Abdi who promptly got hit in the face with the ping pong ball. Now was as good a time as any.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Matteo,” he said, bumping their shoulders together.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hm?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I just wanted to say sorry... About before.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo turned to him, looking confused. “About what?” Because of course, it’s a random thing to bring up after all this time.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“That night at your party.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David had a difficult time looking him in the eyes. He could feel Matteo studying his face for a few seconds.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What exactly are you sorry for?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Everything,” he sighed. “For what happened and for not saying anything until now.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The silence stretched out for what felt like ages before Matteo finally spoke up again. “Well, I guess we’re both guilty.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Relief washed over him. He was foolish to be worried. Their friendship wasn’t so fragile.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David looked at him now and smiled, taking Matteo’s hand in his. “I know it’s immature, but... I would’ve really hated it if things got weird, so I panicked and left without saying anything.” He shrugged. “I shouldn’t have, it was stupid of me. I wasn’t really thinking... Obviously.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“How are you so sure things won’t get weird after talking about it now?” Matteo didn’t sound serious, but it made David nervous nonetheless.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He shrugged again. “A hunch.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“A hunch?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah. You’re my best friend and you know I take that title <em>very</em> seriously.” David leaned in and squinted his eyes for emphasis. “I know you better than anyone. I could practically read your mind at this point,” he joked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo just looked down and started swinging his legs. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Schreibner.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh, but I am, Florenzi.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They quietly watched the boys hit the ball back and forth. Matteo was absentmindedly squeezing and unsqueezing his hand.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What’s with us?” David laughed, shaking his head slightly. “I guess we just got lost in the heat of the moment or something, huh?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah,” Matteo nodded, eyes facing straight ahead. “What’s with us?” He said it so quietly it was almost like he was saying it to himself.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I really don’t know how that happened no matter how much I think about it.” He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to explain himself.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh, so you kept thinking about it?” Matteo was teasing but his intended playful grin wasn’t reaching his eyes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David felt an urgent need to make him laugh. “Of course. I mean, you’re a really good kisser. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy myself,” he teased back, nudging their knees together. “If you haven’t thought about it even a little bit since then, I’d be offended. Were you not swooned? Be honest.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ugh, shut up,” Matteo exhaled and rolled his eyes, shoving his face away with his free hand. But his smile was genuine now so David counted it as a success.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Guys!” They looked over at Jonas who had his arms spread on either side of him in disbelief. “You’re supposed to be keeping score!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David just laughed. “Whatever, it’s our turn anyways!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was giddy at feeling like a weight was lifted and threw an arm over Matteo’s shoulders. “So! Let’s play some ping pong.”</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>Jonas and Matteo were sitting in an obscure space behind one of the school buildings beside the courtyard, smoking a joint. Jonas was directly asking him about his ‘progress’ with Jake. Matteo told him there was no progress to be had.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They had completed their presentation and it went over smoothly. Jake started sitting beside him in class ever since and he didn’t mind it. But still, they’ve done nothing but engage in friendly conversation every so often.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Ever since the first Jake discussion, if it could even be called that, it was more like a passing mention, Jonas had been giving Matteo a nudge towards the idea of giving dating a chance. Now, he brought it up easily and Matteo was better at receiving said nudges.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t know, man. I can’t use him like that,” Matteo said, not for the first time. They’ve had this same conversation in a variety of ways.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I told you, you don’t have to make a commitment right away. A couple dates is all I’m saying. Couldn’t hurt.” There was nothing forceful in his tone and it honestly made Matteo want to consider his words. He didn’t exactly disagree with the sentiment. “There are plenty of people who develop feelings as they get to know each other.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“That’s true...” Matteo said quietly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Just try putting yourself out there. Keep an open mind and an open heart and all that. Plus, I think it’s great that there’s already someone you know and don’t hate so, there’s that.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He laughed. “There’s that.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You’re such a great guy, Luigi. You deserve to be happy.” Jonas passed the joint to him. “And he’s so obviously into you, bro.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo didn’t have anything to say to that. He just watched the smoke fan out in front of him as he exhaled.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What would you say?” Jonas asked. “If he asked you out first, I mean?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Haven’t thought about it.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Pretends to be shocked.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo huffed out a laugh. “Shut up.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They passed the joint wordlessly for a moment.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“How are things with David?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>That caught him off guard. It probably shouldn’t have, considering, but it did.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo shrugged. He could feel Jonas’ eyes on him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When the silence lingered, Jonas turned his head and took a drag.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo knew that he wouldn’t push. But he actually did want to talk about it. He wanted to confide in someone he trusted.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I never did tell you, huh? About why the whole thing with David is hopeless.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Mhm.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He worried at his bottom lip. “Yeah, so...” Then took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Do you remember the party at ours when David and I locked ourselves up in my room?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You mean like every party?” Jonas laughed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo rolled his eyes and clarified, “One of the more recent times.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He nodded, his expression falling back into seriousness.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah, well...” Matteo paused to take another breath. “We kinda- We,” he stuttered, shrugging again. “We kissed.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>That was an understatement.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When he chanced a peek at Jonas, he didn’t seem surprised in the slightest.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo continued, “And it was... It felt... amazing.” He breathed out the last word. “Better than I could’ve imagined. I was so happy.” A small smile broke out at the memory. “Like, it was finally happening. I couldn’t believe it. I’ve liked him for so long....” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “And I really thought in that moment that he liked me, too... But then...” Matteo looked down at his fidgeting hands.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jonas hummed, patiently waiting for him to press on.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“He basically acted like nothing happened.” He was almost whispering now. The tears were threatening to spill over at hearing the sound of his own voice breaking. “He didn’t even bring it up again until way later. I mean, neither did I, but... It’s not the same. I didn’t know what to do.” Matteo rubbed at his eyes when his vision started to blur. “And then just to make things worse, he <em>apologized</em> for it. I mean... What the fuck was I supposed to say to that? So, yeah... You know... He doesn’t...” He had a difficult time getting the words out. “It didn’t mean anything to him.” Warmth ran down his cheeks and he frustratingly wiped away at them.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jonas’ expression was filled with sympathy. If it was anybody else, he would’ve been annoyed. But there was no pity there, only kindness.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So that’s why lately you’ve been...” Jonas didn’t need to finish his sentence.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo nodded.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Sorry, bro. I keep pushing you to move on, but... Just... Whenever you’re ready.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I know, man.” Matteo smiled at him. “Don’t worry about it.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He felt lighter after finally letting someone else in.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo’s phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket to new texts from David. He couldn’t help the way the corner of his mouth immediately quirked up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>David:</strong> <em>Hey!</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Still in class?</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Matteo:</strong> <em>nah i’m free</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>what’s up</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>David:</strong> <em>Meet me at starbucks by campus?</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>I’m heading over there now with the guys</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Matteo:</strong> <em>sure :)</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>David:</strong> <em>Cool</em> ☺️</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>See you in a few</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Matteo:</strong> <em>few what</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>David:</strong> <em>What?</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Matteo:</strong> <em>days? weeks??</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>MONTHS????</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>David:</strong> <em>Shut up matteo</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Matteo:</strong> <em>never</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>David:</strong> 🙄</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>See you in a few MINUTES</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Matteo:</strong> 😁</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>will do</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>see u in a few</em> ❤️</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>David:</strong> <em>Istg</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jonas and Matteo got up and came across a familiar face as they walked through the courtyard. Jake smiled at them and Jonas waved him over seeing as he was going in the same direction.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey, bro! Where you headed?” Jonas asked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Work,” Jake sighed. “Sadly.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh,” Matteo said.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh?” Jonas turned to him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You work at Starbucks, right?” He vaguely remembered that being mentioned before. “I’m going there now.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh!” Now it was Jake’s turn.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jonas gave Matteo a look with raised brows and suggested, “You guys should walk there together then.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jake looked at him expectantly and he shrugged. “Sure.” It would be stranger if they didn’t.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The smile that spread across Jake’s face almost made Matteo feel guilty.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Well, I’m off to meet Hanna. You kids have fun.” Jonas lightly pushed them both behind their shoulders and turned to walk in a different direction.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>“And she was being serious?” Abdi asked incredulously.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah, bro! Can you blame her?” Carlos said.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David shook his head, thoroughly entertained.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Apparently Carlos’ girlfriend for the past year, Kiki, had recently asked if him and Matteo were together and had been wondering it for quite some time. So basically, same old same old.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The sun was shining and the weather was just to David’s taste. Warm, but with a fresh and breezy chill in the air. As a result, he didn’t want to head back to his dorm just yet once classes were over.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Abdi whined about being ‘in desperate need of a mocha frappuccino’ and David could use an iced coffee himself. So they were now sitting inside Starbucks in a well lit spot by the large glass windows, waiting for their order.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Abdi tilted his head in consideration. “You’re right, I can’t really blame her,” he giggled. “Back in high school I seriously thought you guys were secretly dating,” he said to David.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The barista called his name then, so David got up to quickly get their drinks.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m surprised you still don’t think that now,” Carlos was saying.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Bro, shut up!” Abdi yelled as David walked back to their table. “I asked Matteo about it after a while,” he added, putting his straw in his frappuccino and proceeding to mix in the whipped cream.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So you <em>didn’t</em> figure it out yourself.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Abdi elbowed him in the rib and Carlos shoved him away, laughing.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I mean, even now,” Abdi said, pausing to sip on his straw, “I can’t really imagine you or Luigi going out with someone else.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David’s mind suddenly began to swirl at the mention of Matteo being in a romantic relationship with someone - <em>who wasn’t him</em>, a tiny voice at the back of his mind tacked on.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Carlos nodded in agreement. “Yeah, that would be weird.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Weird?</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After a beat, small bouts of laughter escaped him again. “How long was ‘a while’ anyways?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Don’t remember. A few months?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“A few months?! Dude.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Dude, they’re always glued together and shit, are you kidding?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“True.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What did Matteo say when you asked him?” David wondered, unintentionally vocalizing his thoughts. It was as if the words escaped of their own volition.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“‘Shut up, Abdi.’”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Abdi’s tone was so candid that it should have made him laugh. It should have, but it didn’t.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>What response had he been hoping for?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Carlos’ laughter sounded as if it were coming from a distance.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David sat there with no reaction and no reply. How was it that his thoughts were racing but his mind was blank?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey, Luigi’s here,” Abdi said. “And he brought Jake From Sociology.” Matter-of-fact as it was, his words made something twist inside David.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Why are they together?” Carlos asked him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David turned to glance over his shoulder and saw them outside, walking towards the entrance.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Bro?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He turned back and sighed, “How am I supposed to know?” He didn’t know why he felt so annoyed all of a sudden. “Maybe they were together when I texted Matteo to meet us here.” He shrugged and leaned back on his chair, taking a sip of his drink.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David stubbornly refused to budge even as he heard a familiar voice and the sound of footsteps nearing their table. There was a chorus of hi’s and hey’s when Abdi and Carlos stood up, holding out their fists to Matteo and Jake.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David stood up then, smiling brightly at Matteo and pulling him into a hug as they said their hello’s. Perhaps it lasted a bit longer than was necessary.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When he turned to Jake, who was looking at him with the corners of his lips turned down, he forced a friendly expression onto his face. It was stiff and fake but he didn’t care enough to strive to make it appear believable.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He could’ve sworn he felt his eye twitch.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>From his peripheral, he could see Matteo’s eyes linger on him for a bit as they took their seats.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Are you gonna order something?” Jake asked, directing his full attention to Matteo.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David didn’t like it. The familiarity.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo thought for a second before answering, “Yeah, I think so.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I can make it for you. It’s on the house.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Dude!” Carlos exclaimed. “Are you about to clock in? We should’ve waited!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“For real! Is this gonna be a regular thing?” Abdi looked to Matteo, who didn’t respond to his question. He continued anyways, without pause. “Because I could live with that.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jake smiled at them.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David almost asked why he was still sitting there if he had to get to work, but mentally scolded himself for being petty.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Where did this weird tension between them even come from? It’s not like they’ve ever spoken to each other before.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>Whatever.</em> David wasn’t planning on starting now. So he stayed quiet as the others conversed. Wordlessly staring out the window and drinking his coffee.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A bump in the shoulder startled him from his empty daydream. Matteo was staring back at him with a concerned look in his eyes. It was as if he was asking if everything was okay.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>With some effort, David smiled and nodded.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo playfully bumped their shoulders together again and his body relaxed, reacting to the the familiar touch. He was completely oblivious to how stiffly he had been sitting until then.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A strong urge to intertwine their fingers overcame him, but an even stronger reluctance was present as well. Matteo had seemed somewhat distanced in terms of their habitual affection lately and David didn’t want to push it or make him feel uncomfortable.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He also refused to think about the implications of what that could possibly mean.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Matteo.” Jake’s voice cut in like an irritating clang. “What drink did you want? I’ll make it for you and call your name when it’s ready,” he said as he stood up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You sure?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah, it’s really no big deal.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Uh, grande green tea latte, then. Iced.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Coming right up! And I’ll make it a venti,” he said, leaning in and putting a hand on Matteo’s shoulder.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David’s mouth gaped but he forced it shut before he could utter a word.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo kindly smiled at him. “Thanks, man.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Anything for you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. David drank the last ounce of his iced coffee, slurping loudly as Jake walked away.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>“Uh-huh,” Leonie said, nodding.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David was sprawled out on his bed with Leonie sitting on the swivel chair by his desk, eating chocolate.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He had just finished rambling over the details of what happened the other day at Starbucks and she listened quietly and intently all throughout. Now, he was ready for whatever insight she might have into why he’s feeling so vexed because he had absolutely no clue. And it was frustrating the shit out of him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Her next words shot into the room and right through David like a flash of lighting.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s really about time you come to terms with your feelings for Matteo,” she said, popping an M&amp;M into her mouth.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was not ready for that.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I swear, how long has it been?” Leonie was much less subtle than Laura had been.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David almost got whiplash from how swiftly he turned his head to glare at her. “Leonie, what the hell are you talking about?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>She rolled her eyes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up. “So you think I like Matteo.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No.” She set the M&amp;M bag down onto his desk.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His eyebrows knitted together.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I <em>know</em> you like Matteo.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Now it was David’s turn to roll his eyes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Once in a while she made ambiguous comments about them to tease him, but there was no hint of humor in it this time. So he open-heartedly absorbed her straightforward judgment, and just like that, things started falling into place.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo filled up his mind to the brim. Matteo’s sweet smile and gentle blue eyes, Matteo’s adorable scowl and pouty lips, Matteo’s face-splitting grin and the sound of his giggles, Matteo’s incomparable beauty with his tousled hair and flushed cheeks.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A dopey smile made its way to David’s face.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Memories of the night when his heart acted much too quickly for his mind to catch up rushed through the chaos inside of him. Stilling it and knocking it down until all that was left was the the echo of how it felt to have Matteo’s lips glide and pull against his.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He could feel his face heating up and shook his head.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No, but... No, we could never. I can’t.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Why not?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David picked at his bed sheet, suddenly finding it to be the most intriguing thing hes ever seen, and shrugged.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“David,” Leonie sighed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m scared, okay.” He mumbled the words so quietly that he wondered if she even understood them.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Of what?” There was genuine curiosity.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The floodgates were open. “What if it doesn’t work out? What then? He’s my best friend, I can’t risk losing him completely. Because, you know, that’s what will happen if we end up breaking up. Or if he doesn’t feel the same way and rejects me immediately. That damage isn’t so easily repaired, okay? We’ll probably try to go back to being just friends, but it’ll never be the same. It’ll be impossible to go back. This is the safer option- the <em>only</em> option. I need Matteo in my life and if this is the only way to keep that, I’m just gonna have to live with it.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David’s words flowed out like word vomit. But it was nice, finally having an outlet for the thoughts and feelings he had kept buried and disregarded for so long.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Sounds like this isn’t the first time you’ve thought this through.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It was ages ago, but yeah. I have. Surprising, I know,” he ended sarcastically. “I’ve ignored it for so long though, that... I don’t know. I fooled myself into thinking I’m over it. I had to believe it.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Leonie stayed quiet for a moment, letting his words sink in. “Okay. Then let me ask you this.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David looked up at her to let her know that he was listening.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What if Matteo got a boyfriend?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was like the words were a physical force that pushed David onto his back again, his head barely missing the wall behind him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>That one question made it all seem so simple. The answer was clear as day.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m a fucking idiot,” he said.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Another thing I already knew.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He threw both arms over his face and muffled out, “Shut up.” David then dropped them to his side and let out a breath. “It’s too late.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What do you mean?” Leonie asked, disbelieving.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Jake.” The name tasted bitter on his tongue.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ah, the guy from before.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It seems like they’ve been getting close lately.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Okay... And...?” She said the words slowly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What do you mean ‘and’?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What I mean is, they could just be friends. Stop jumping to conclusions. Wouldn’t he tell you if he liked someone?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David thought about that for a second. More than the assurance that Matteo would have told him, the idea of them even having such a conversation made him burn up with something ugly that he had never felt before. At least not so intensely.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was jealousy he’d been experiencing in small increments at seeing Matteo and That Guy together.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Maybe he should start referring to him that way from now on. The acknowledgment made it difficult for David to even think his name, let alone say it out loud.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He wanted to laugh at his dramatics.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah,” David agreed. “He would’ve told me.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Leonie lifted her hand at that, palm up, as if to say ‘exactly.’ She studied him for a bit before speaking up again, much gentler this time. “Listen, I’m not just saying this because you’re my friend or to make you feel better, but-”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah, that I know,” he interrupted.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>She glowered at him. “Anyways, you two would be so good together. He makes you so happy, David. You should see your face when you’re with him, it makes me wanna barf. And you’ve practically already been dating for years now.” There was a smile in her voice at the latter part.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Just stop thinking about the what-if’s,” she continued, getting up from the chair and moving to sit beside David on the bed. “Sorry to get cynical, but going by your logic, there’s no guarantee that your friendship will last forever, either. So what if you don’t know what’ll happen if you get together? We don’t know anything about what’ll happen in the future. Right?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When he didn’t respond, Leonie asked, “Am I right or not?” needing the affirmation. It was obviously more for his sake.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You’re right,” David sighed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>She nodded. “Won’t you regret it more if you give up before you even try?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His optimism was building, but there was still a cloud lingering.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hes been pulling away from me lately though.” Articulating the concern hurt much more than he expected it to and his voice broke a little. “How do you explain that?” He sat up again and willed himself to swallow back the tears before they fell.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t know, David. I don’t have the answer to that,” Leonie said quietly. “The only thing you can do is talk to him.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He looked down at his lap and nodded.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>She whipped her hand in a spinning motion. “But I suggest that you speed it up a bit.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A small laugh escaped David and he gave her a thankful smile. “Okay.”</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>Somehow their Saturday evening ‘small get-together’ turned into a small party.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What’s he doing here anyways?” David asked, tilting his head towards Jake who was standing across the room talking to Jonas.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>Why is he everywhere?</em> was what he really wanted to say.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They ran into him at the park the other day. He was walking his dog, because of course he was. Matteo was thrilled.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was there by Matteo’s side every time they left their Sociology class, even though their presentation was long over and done with.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And it seemed like every single time they went to the Starbucks near campus, he was there working. Not forgetting to act super chummy with Matteo and all but ignoring David completely.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Maybe we should start going to a different place for coffee,” David had suggested on a day when he was particularly annoyed. He was only half joking.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And now, here he was again, mingling with their close friends.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David was beginning to suspect Jake had a clone or something.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Is he not allowed to be here?” Matteo laughed. “Hanna and I ran into him a couple days ago. We ended up talking about today so she told him to come if he wanted.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>Of course.</em> It took a considerable amount of effort for David not to roll his eyes. He took a swig of his beer.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They were seated on the couch that was now pushed against the wall to create a makeshift dance floor in the middle of the living room. The coffee table was probably stuffed in Jonas’ room.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David’s spent basically the entire duration of the party so far glued to Matteo’s side. They usually gravitated towards one another eventually, but he was feeling exceptionally clingy today.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was extremely conscious of Jake’s presence and constantly got the urge to reach out to Matteo at the mere sight of him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He sighed and looked down at Matteo’s hand, wanting to take comfort in the familiar warmth of it in his.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You okay?” Matteo asked with slight worry in his voice. “Not in the mood?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Just...” David sighed again. He honestly didn’t know how he was doing at the moment. It felt like a bunch of emotions were swirling inside of him at once, each of them speedily going in different directions. Which is always the case, as of late, when he’s with the boy he loves.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was a strange feeling, allowing himself to be open about how he felt... in secret.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Despite his conversation with Leonie, confessing to Matteo was a lot easier said than done. The timing never felt right. And even when it did, he just couldn’t find the words. No amount of effort was able to shake his fears, and the resulting anxiety grasped at any excuse that drifted by.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A large part of his hesitance had to do with the way Matteo’s been somewhat distanced lately. That reminder reared its head at every opportunity. But whenever a question regarding it reached the tip of his tongue, his nerves won out over the curiousity. Maybe a part of him didn’t want to hear the answer.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>So technically, other than that, nothing had changed between them. Yet everything felt different somehow. It was like now that he finally stopped keeping the emotions he felt in the dark, Matteo shined so much brighter. David didn’t need anything else when his smile was directed at him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He peeked over at Jake again, who was now dancing with Sam. Abdi was standing off to the side watching them, staring bitterly and angrily taking a sip of his beer as Carlos consoled him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He suddenly realized how tired he felt. What would Matteo say now if he suggested they sneak away into his room?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Boys!” Jonas appeared in front of them and yelled above the music, pulling David up to his feet. “Come on!” Before he realized it, he was being led to the dance floor.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>In seconds, he heard a familiar voice. “David! There you are.” Leonie excitedly tugged at his hand, making him spin around. He laughed and spontaneously decided to just go with it.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He glanced back to see that the spot Matteo was seated at was now vacant as well.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He turned back to Leonie. The distraction might be good, at least for a little bit. Better to dance than to indulge his gloomy mood in the midst of a party.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They danced and they laughed. A buzzed happiness was finally beginning to overtake him and his troubles faded into the background as he lost himself to the beating of the music.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The distraction didn’t last.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He saw Matteo now. Jake was standing in front of him, chatting away with an arm up, sandwiching Matteo between himself and the wall.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David scowled. That’s too close.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He tried to keep his body moving, but couldn’t tear his eyes away from the scene unfolding at the far end of the room. Seeing him leaning into Matteo’s ear to speak to him was making the swirling emotions spin out of control.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>It’s fine, they’re just talking. Matteo was only humoring the guy</em>, he tried to convince himself.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He forced his attention back to Leonie and plastered a smile onto his face. But his eyes soon trailed back to where his mind lingered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His eyes widened when he saw Jake leaning in once more. Because this time, it was different. This time, Matteo’s face was being completely obscured from view.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When all David could see was the back of Jake’s head, he snapped his own to the side with a sharp intake of breath. It felt like the world was in slow motion and the thundering music sounded muffled to his own ears.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He needed to get out of there. He needed to run.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Leonie called out his name as he began pushing his way past dancing bodies. Nobody paid him any mind as he made his way towards the exit.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David ran outside as quickly as possible and willed himself not to cry. He managed some distance before collapsing against a wall and sliding down to the cold ground. David bit his lip as the tears spilled out, unable to hold them back anymore.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>This isn’t the place for this. He needed to get it together for the time being.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>To calm himself down, David rubbed at his face and took a couple of deep breathes before getting to his feet and pushing himself off the wall. He decided to head back to his dorm rather than to Laura’s to vent, much more in the mood to wallow away in his sadness in solitary.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The entire walk there, memories from the night of his and Matteo’s first kiss flooded into his mind. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way it felt to be so close to him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David reminisced about all of their quiet moments together when he so often thought to himself that he never wanted to lose him. That he loved Matteo, in a way that was so much more profound than he allowed himself to believe.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was no one but himself to blame. He had waited too long and was being smacked in the face with reality.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Maybe this is why theres been a wall building between them lately. Maybe it’s actually because he had realized how David felt about him. Maybe Matteo was falling for Jake and stayed quiet about it because he didn’t want to hurt him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He loved Matteo so much and now that he was allowing himself to feel it, it was enveloping him in full force. But because of the current circumstances, it was a weird mix of feeling light and floaty yet at the same time feeling like his heart was being constricted by a weight.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was overwhelming.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David considered for half a second just running back to the party to pull Matteo away and keep him to himself for as long as he would let him, but immediately regretted it. It was selfish and unfair.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Once he reached his destination and closed the door behind him, he let himself flop down heavily onto the bed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Now that he was alone and his own space, he allowed his emotions to run freely. He stopped holding back the tears that were fighting their way out the entire walk to his dorm. He felt horrible and wanted nothing more than to be held in Matteo’s arms.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A new wave of tears flushed out when he realized that he couldn’t have that anymore.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David didn’t know how he would be able to handle seeing Matteo treating someone else with the same gentle affection he showed him, and more. Just thinking of the situations he would inevitably find himself in soon made a lump rise up in his throat.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was so unbelievably sad and frustrated at everything and at himself.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was a buzzing in his pocket. He grunted and unwillingly pulled his phone out, not wanting to talk to anyone. There were new texts from Leonie but he was mostly surprised to see that there were missed calls and new texts from Matteo as well. David furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Matteo:</strong> <em>hey</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>can you come in my room</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>david where are you</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>did u leave?</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>we really need to talk</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He couldn’t imagine what Matteo was so insistent on seeing him for. He had Jake now, afterall.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Without much thought, David texted back.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>David:</strong> <em>At my dorm</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He lay there for what felt like ages. He could only imagine the current state he was in with tears staining the entirety of his face. And with him no longer making any attempts at wiping them away, it must all look very dramatic.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After a while, he forced himself up, dragging his feet towards the bathroom to wash his face when a soft knocking came at the door.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>Matteo instantly felt a hand on his arm after David was dragged away by Jonas.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey, Matteo.” Jake smiled.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He gestured towards the far end of the room, seeming like he wanted to talk.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo nodded and they made their way towards a corner that was void of other people. He naturally leaned against the wall when Jake suddenly mounted his arm on it, landing right beside his head.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He cleared his throat, not really comfortable with the close proximity. “What’s up?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Nothing. I just wanted to say that I’m really happy you invited me over today. Kinda been wanting to hang out with you outside of class.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo just nodded. He wasn’t about to respond to that by one: correcting him and saying that Hanna was the one who invited him, and two: that he didn’t share the same desire.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Are you having fun?” Matteo asked, making friendly conversation instead.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Good, I’m glad.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was an awkward silence before Jake spoke up again. “So anyways, I was- I was wondering,” he stuttered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo turned his head to let him know that he couldn’t quite hear him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jake leaned in. “I was wondering if we could see each other again some time. Just the two of us.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When he pulled back, the only word Matteo could get out was an unsure, “Um...”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The other boy leaned in again. “I know that you’re into someone else.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His eyes widened at that. He glanced at the dance floor, quickly finding David. He looked gorgeous, having the time of his life and smiling unreservedly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I know it’s not really my place to say, but... It just doesn’t seem like-” He shook his head. “What I’m trying to say is, I can understand. I get it. We can just get to know each other from here on out.” He paused, pursing his lips. “Do you think you could maybe give it some thought? Consider it?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>In truth, Matteo hasn’t exactly been getting anywhere in his aim to get over David, but he remembered Jonas’ words. <em>Open mind and an open heart and all that.</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Um... Yeah, maybe. I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Great! We can take our time, Matteo.” Jake’s normally bright disposition turned shy. “I’ve actually liked you for a really long time. The first time I saw you, I thought you were the cutest boy I’d ever seen.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Was it the alcohol and the atmosphere causing him to be this blunt or was it because Matteo had given him some hope?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo took a sip of his beer, unable to make eye contact. This was so awkward. His eyes scanned around the room, trying to telepathically will one of his friends to come over and give him an out.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jake took a sip of his beer too, before laughing softly and saying, “I just think your eyes are so pretty. But I’m sure you hear that a lot.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Only from David.</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jake began to lean in again, his eyes locked onto Matteo’s lips.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He gaped, initially too shocked to react.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was <em>not</em> drunk enough for this. Maybe then he would’ve considered just closing his eyes and getting lost in the moment. Allow himself to forget about his heart break for one night by making out with a cute boy... No, maybe not even then.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>This isn’t it. This isn’t right. This is wrong.</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo put a hand to Jake’s shoulder to hold him in place. He gave him an apologetic smile before pushing off the wall and heading in the direction of his room.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His mind began to race instantaneously. It’s too hot, this space is too small, there’s too many people.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He reached his room and shut the door behind him, sliding down against it to sit on the floor and laying his palms flat against the hardwood. The darkness of his room enveloped him in a comforting silence and already he could feel himself calming down.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was a fool to think there could possibly be anyone else besides David. The prospect of being so intimate and vulnerable with another person was preposterous. It was out of the question. How did he manage to convince himself that that was something feasible?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He leaned his head back against the door and closed his eyes, thinking about David’s smile. The one that lit up his entire face. Matteo’s favorite thing in the entire world.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He laughed bitterly. He was tired of leaving out loose ends.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo made up his mind and pulled out his phone.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Matteo:</strong> <em>hey</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>can you come in my room</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A few minutes passed and there was no response.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Matteo:</strong> <em>david where are you</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo stood up and opened the door a tiny slit to take a peek outside. He scanned the room and found Leonie but he was no longer with her.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David wasn’t answering his phone, either.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Matteo:</strong> <em>did u leave?</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He moved to sit on the bed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>No response.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>Matteo:</strong> <em>we really need to talk</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His leg only stopped bouncing when his phone screen lit up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><strong>David:</strong> <em>At my dorm</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo immediately got up to leave, doing a quick u-turn to grab his bus pass, and then made his way outside.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Butterflies were present in his stomach the entire ride to David’s. The two stops there felt both like an eternity and like no time at all.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After hopping off the bus, he quickly maneuvered his way through the familiar path and found himself standing in front of David’s dorm room before he knew it.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo lifted his hand and dropped it to his side. The butterflies were rampant, his nerves were on edge. <em>This is it. Rip the bandaid off and tell him. Be rejected and get it over with.</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He took a deep breath and lifted his hand up again to knock. There was a shuffling sound behind the door but no response.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s me,” Matteo said, his voice shaky and uneven.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was a click as the door was unlocked and a tiny creek as it opened.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>His eyes widened. His nervousness and pessimistic thoughts flew out the window the second he took in the state David was in. Eyes red-rimmed and glassy, cheeks tear-stained.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo instinctually reached out to cup his face. “What happened?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David’s hand went up to lightly wrap around his wrist, rubbing it with his thumb. He closed his eyes and leaned into Matteo’s palm before pulling it down. He then turned around without a word and sat at the edge of his bed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo followed him inside, locking the door before joining him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He took David’s hand in his, entertwining their fingers, because fuck those stupid rules at this point.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Matteo, you really shouldn’t be doing that,” David said with a sad smile.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo waited for David to look at him before asking, “Why?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You know why.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I saw, okay?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Saw what?” He was confused.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David looked down at their hands. Matteo felt him loosen his grip but he only tightened his own, refusing to let go.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Are you gonna tell me what happened? You look terrible.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Thanks,” David said sarcastically.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They sat in silence for a couple of minutes. It wasn’t comfortable, nor was it confining. It was just... empty.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Talk to me,” Matteo said gently.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Didn’t you need to tell me something?” David asked, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah, but that can wait.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You’re really gonna make me say it?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I won’t force you, but I just need to know you’re okay. If you don’t wanna talk about it, let me stay with you at least.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Are you kidding? You can’t fucking do that.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Why the fuck not? I’m not gonna leave you alone like this.” He was starting to get frustrated. “Don’t push me away.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David yanked his hand out of Matteo’s. “<em>You’re</em> the one whose been pushing <em>me</em> away!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo stared at him, speechless. It was true, he couldn’t argue against that. And here he was, thinking he had been subtle about it.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Now was the time to explain why. Now was the time to finally tell him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah,” he said, looking down at the now lone hand that rested on his lap. “I have.” He took a deep breath. “What we needed to talk about... I have something I need to tell you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He peeked at David from underneath his lashes, who nodded to show that he was listening.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So, uh...” Matteo let out a shaky breath.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You don’t have to be nervous, Matteo. It’s okay.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You have no idea,” he laughed apprehensively.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo shut his eyes tightly and steeled himself. He worried at his lip before lifting his thumb up to his mouth, anxiously biting the nail.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>No more turning back</em>. A few more excruciating seconds passed before he finally mumbled out an almost inaudible, “I love you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Silence.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What the fuck...” David’s voice was shaking.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He hadn’t been expecting that response. Matteo lifted his head to see wide brown eyes staring at him with a look of astonishment.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What do you mean?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo almost laughed. “Do I really have to explain what it means?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No, I mean, I <em>saw</em> you. At the party? With Jake.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Confusion overtook him, and then realization.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ah,” Matteo said blankly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah, ‘ah.’”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s not what it looked like. I swear.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Really? Because it looked a lot like you started pulling away from me ever since you met him, you’ve been getting close lately, and then at the party you guys were kissing, so-”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah- No! Fuck. David, no. It’s not- We weren’t. He was going to, but I would never. How could I?” He shook his head. “Not when...” Matteo’s words trailed off and he looked down.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He has to push through. He’s already in this deep.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“There is no me and Jake. I love you, David. Its always been you.” His words were softly spoken but clear, leaving no room for misunderstanding or doubt.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He waited for the rejection, for the uncomfortable air to set it, but none of that happened. David’s next words were something he had only heard in his wildest dreams.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I love you, too,” David breathed out. He almost sounded in disbelief. It mirrored the way Matteo was feeling at the moment, exactly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p><em>This can’t be possible.</em> “Like... as a friend, right?” he asked, playing with his fingers.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He didn’t have to look at David to know that he rolled his eyes at that. “Matteo, please.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He pinched his arm.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What are you doing?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When Matteo looked at him, his expression was filled with so much affection. “This is real?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The corners of David’s lips twitched up and he bit back a smile. He leaned forward to close the small distance between them.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo let his eyelids fall shut and he held his breath in anticipation.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When their lips finally met, the butterflies in his stomach came alive with vitality. It was almost as if he would be able to hear their wings fluttering if he listened closely enough.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The kiss was gentle and so full of warmth.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When they pulled away and rested their foreheads together, Matteo let out a contented sigh.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“This is real,” David whispered.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Matteo was half laying on top of David as they exchanged slow kisses. Neither of them could stop smiling.</p><p>David pulled back just enough to whisper another, “I love you.”</p>
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>Matteo shook his head, grinning, kissing him again.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Are you not gonna say it back?” David asked, playfully tugging at his hair.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He was met with only a hum as Matteo began planting kisses to his neck. “I love you,” he mumbled against the skin.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You’re gonna leave a mark,” David said when he started working at one specific spot.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“That’s the idea. And this time you won’t have to hide it.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He turned his head, forcing Matteo to look at him. “I’m sorry about back then,” he said quietly, smoothing a hand over his cheek. “I was an idiot.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah,” Matteo nodded in agreement.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Fuck you,” David laughed, pulling him in for another kiss.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They made out for a long time in general silence, which was only stirred by the occasional giggle.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Despite how much more at ease this was compared to the last time they were tangled up in each other, it was beginning to feel so much more heated. The light air dispersed and their kisses intensified, as did their breathing.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo sighed and David licked at his lip and into his mouth. His hand that was already buried in Matteo’s hair tightened its grip while the other held his body close.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He flipped them over so Matteo was laying on his back. David moved a hand under the side of his shirt, causing him to quietly gasp.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Their legs were entangled, hip flush against hip. Matteo sat up a bit and David helped him yank his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side and then drawing together again as they settled back down.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David’s lips advanced down his neck and across his collarbone to his shoulder, with his hand roaming over the newly exposed skin. Matteo grinded against his thigh and David soon felt the way his body was reacting. He was unable to help the smile that spread across his face.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He moved back up to kiss Matteo on the lips before asking, “Condom?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Uh... No. I didn’t exactly expect this turn of events.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David laughed quietly. “That’s okay. If you want to, we could still...” His eyes shifted down for a split second as the words faded out.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo nodded and they kissed some more. David’s hand smoothed over his body for a little bit longer before coming to rest at the waistband of his jeans.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He paused before progressing any further. “Wait.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Everything okay?” Matteo whispered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah,” he smiled. “Just close your eyes for a second? I just need to...” He gestured vaguely to his shirt.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo nodded again and turned away to face the wall.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David changed out of his clothes and took off his pants, leaving him in a loose shirt and boxers. He placed a hand on Matteo’s shoulder to let him know that he was ready.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They assumed their previous position, lips finding each other once more.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David’s hand traveled down again, his fingers hooking underneath the garment. “Can I?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah,” Matteo replied in an unsteady breath.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After what was left of Matteo’s clothes was removed, the nerves overtook him. His heart was pounding and his hands were trembling. He leaned down for another long kiss to steady himself, a comforting hand cupping his jaw.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When David’s own finally reached where it needed to be, he heard Matteo’s breath hitch at the contact. He was indescribably nervous and had absolutely no idea what he was doing. But when he chanced a peek up at the beautiful boy in front of him, the trembling eased at seeing the look on his face. His confidence rising as well as a result.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David continued to experimentally move his hand, gauging Matteo’s reactions as he touched him this way and that. He leaned forward to kiss him once he got a steady pace going, not stopping until Matteo let out a groan and was shaking with pleasure.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After a moment, he grabbed the previously discarded shirt to clean up before resting his head on Matteo’s shoulder and wrapping an arm over his torso.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo squeezed him tight before turning to kiss his forehead.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When he pulled back, David felt so much love pouring out of his dopey expression. He smiled softly and pressed a gentle kiss to Matteo’s lips.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They lay in silence, fingertips drawing random patterns on each others skin. David was feeling a bit... tense himself, but wasn’t quite sure how to bring it up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Thankfully, Matteo spoke up first. “Can I- I mean...” he said, cautiously. He was running two fingers up and down the length of David’s arm.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hm?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Would you... Do you want me to do anything for you?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A fresh blush spread across his cheeks. He worried at his lip. “Yeah. I... I’d like that. If- If you want to.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah, yeah,” Matteo sputtered out, and then cleared his throat. “I do. If you want.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I do want to. If you do.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Okay,” he said, but remained unmoving.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>As the silence stretched on, amusement bubbled up inside David. They were being ridiculous.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He poked Matteo’s stomach with a cheeky grin. “Are you gonna do something or not?” he teased.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There was nervousness but also heat in Matteo’s eyes when he turned to look at David. He swallowed hard before closing the distance between them. They shared a slow and passionate kiss before switching positions once more and getting comfortable.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t know how... You’re gonna have to tell me,” Matteo said with a quivering voice.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David nodded, letting out a shaky breath. “Okay.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When Matteo’s fingers traveled underneath the waistband of his boxers, his entire body felt fever hot.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Okay?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah. Keep going.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo kissed David once more before moving his hand further down.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Just tell me if...”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David nodded again.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He did his best to talk Matteo through it. Attempting to keep his voice as level as possible, leading and encouraging. And he continued to do so until it was no longer viable. Until the other boy seemed to get the hang of it and David was incapable of forming coherent sentences.</p>
  <p>He pulled Matteo in for a hug, holding him tightly and burying his face in the crook of his neck. Wholly at bliss, David lost himself completely, and the only word he could utter was Matteo’s name.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David awoke the next morning feeling floaty. There was no other way to describe it. He could’ve sworn his bed had never felt so cozy.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He opened his eyes and smiled at Matteo’s peaceful expression. It was a sight he wasn’t unfamiliar with, but now, things were different. There was an air of intimacy present that was never there before.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David reached out to touch his face and the corner of Matteo’s lips quirked up, but he kept his eyes closed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You like what you see, Schreibner?” he whispered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David cupped his cheek and kissed his forehead, and then eyebrow, and then eyelid, and then nose. When he pulled back, Matteo furrowed his brows and stuck his lips out, comically jutting them forward, still not opening his eyes. David struggled to hold back a laugh.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He trapped Matteo’s lips in between his fingers.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey!” he failed to enunciate.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David laughed and dropped his hand, wrapping an arm tightly around Matteo’s waist and snuggling in close. “Good morning.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No. Kiss me, you ass.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I just did. Multiple times.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo let out an exaggerated sigh. “Dear God, it’s me, Matteo. What did I do to deserve being bullied by my boyfriend first thing in the morning?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David leaned up on his elbow and gave in, not that it took much. Both of their smiles were so big that it probably made a funny picture. Just pressing their mouths together, grinning stupidly.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey,” Matteo whispered against his lips.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey.” David kissed his nose once more before laying back down.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“How are you feeling?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Good. Really good. Amazing, actually,” he sighed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Mhm.” He brought Matteo’s knuckles up to his lips, speaking against the skin. “What about you?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo breathed out a, “Fuck.” A small laugh colored the word.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David waited for a few seconds, winding their fingers together. “Is that your answer?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yes. What about it?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He rolled his eyes. “I swear, you’re lucky you’re cute.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh, am I now?” The shit-eating grin was evident in his voice.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Shut up,” David said, smiling.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo giggled.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They lost themselves in lazy kisses for a long moment and he wanted to savor every second of it, commit everything to memory: The natural lighting that seeped into the room, the faint sound of birds coming from outside, the warmth of Matteo’s body pressed against his, the feeling of his bare skin underneath his hands. It all felt like a dream.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ow!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What?” David asked, feigning innocence.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Why did you just pinch me?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I was checking to make sure this wasn’t a dream.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“David, that’s not how it works.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh,” David dragged out the word and shrugged. “Oops.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo grabbed his arm and bit it before exclaiming, “You did that on purpose.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Ow!” Now it was David’s turn to giggle. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo playfully pushed him away but was easily overtaken and the sound of laughter filled the room. David climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. He wound their fingers together and held their hands down against the bed. Matteo stopped fighting back and a hush fell over them.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David leaned down, smiling conspiratorially. He stopped when their lips were so close that he could practically feel Matteo’s on his, hovering like that for a few seconds before pulling away completely and getting up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He turned from where he was standing to be met with an adorably offended expression. “Come on, lets get breakfast. I’m hungry.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You can’t do that,” Matteo whined. “I’m not getting up. You eat by yourself.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David smiled and walked over to give his boyfriend a sweet, lingering kiss. “Let’s go?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo looked back at him with the signature soft smile that always made his heart skip a beat. “Fine. You win.”</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We're at the last chapter! It's just the bow on top of the fic. If you’re still here, thank you so much and I hope you had fun. ❤️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Matteo didn’t put much thought into it when he made plans with David to meet. They had stayed up way too late last night talking on the phone and he had class at 9AM this morning. The two decided to have coffee together since David’s own class was only half an hour later. Realization hadn’t even hit until he was just a few feet away from Starbucks.</p>
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>Its been about a week since the night they officially got together. At first, Jake had continued to sit beside Matteo in Sociology. But he seemed to have picked up that there wasn’t a chance for them anymore, seeing as he eventually stopped. Not that there ever really was, considering.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It wasn’t like he felt guilty or anything. There wasn’t anything to be guilty about. But he just didn’t want to deal with the awkwardness that would surely ensue if him and David ran into Jake here.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo walked into Starbucks, mentally crossing his fingers that Jake had an early morning class today and wasn’t working. But just his luck, the moment he stepped inside, a familiar voice rang out.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Welcome!” Jake greeted. His service smile wavered, almost unnoticeably, when they made eye contact, but he quickly fixed it.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo kindly smiled back at him before walking to the register to order.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After paying, he stood by the counter, fixated on his shoes as he waited. Jake usually made small talk while he worked on drinks, so the silence was awfully discernible.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Warm arms wrapped around Matteo’s waist, startling him. A smile immediately broke across his face as he breathed in David’s familiar scent.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Morning, babe,” David said, kissing him on the cheek.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Matteo,” Jake called out, placing the drinks on the counter as they pulled apart from one another.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Thanks,” he said, grabbing their coffee and handing one to David.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Should’ve expected that,” David said as they walked to a small table at the corner.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“He acts like I don’t exist. Not that it matters. It just used to annoy me a lot.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So it doesn’t annoy you anymore?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He smiled and squeezed Matteo’s hand before sitting down. “Couldn’t care less.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They were hanging out at the courtyard for lunch and Carlos and Abdi were staring at them with their jaws practically on the floor.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo rolled his eyes. “Dude, what?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m not the only one thinking it anymore, right?” Abdi asked, turning to Carlos.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No, bro.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo looked to his boyfriend, who had an amused grin on his face. When their eyes met, David gave him a swift kiss on the lips.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Abdi was hitting Carlos on the shoulder now. “Bro!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Dude, Luigi, why are you sitting on his lap?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Seriously, Carlos?” David asked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Bro, they literally just kissed.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He shrugged. “You never know with these two.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“So what’s going on? Are you guys finally together now?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No shit,” Matteo said. “Now stop gawking, christ.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Not surprised at all. About time if you ask me,” Abdi said.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yup,” Carlos agreed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David snorted. “Pretty sure I saw flies go into your mouths with the way they were hanging open just now.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Hey, boys,” Jonas said as he sat on the grass and joined them.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Bro,” Carlos said, pointing.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Look at them.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jonas widened his eyes excessively and stared at them, unblinking, for a few seconds before wordlessly turning away to unwrap his sandwhich.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What the hell, dude. Did you already know?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Luigi and I live together, are you kidding? I’m sick of seeing them making out in the living room.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo flushed at that but let out a small laugh.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“It’s been like over a week,” Jonas added.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What?!” Abdi and Carlos said simultaneously.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“How did we not notice?” Abdi’s eyes were unfocused from the shock.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Because you’re an idiot,” Carlos said, patting him on the shoulder in consolation.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Abdi angrily shook his hand off. “You didn’t notice either, dude.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Again, you never know with these two.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David shook with quiet laughter. He gave Matteo a squeeze before leaning into his ear and whispering, “Love you.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo turned his head to reciprocate in the same way. “Love you, too.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>—</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The first day off of that weekend, the two of them spent the entirety of it in Matteo and Jonas’ place. They were relaxing on the couch with Matteo resting his head on David’s lap.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“You should’ve just told me then,” David was saying, playing with his hair.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh yeah? And how would you have reacted?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They were discussing why Matteo didn’t just tell David how he felt the first time they kissed, because then they could have experienced this happiness that much sooner.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David thought about it for a few seconds. “No idea.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Exactly. How could I? Especially after you acted like nothing happened. I thought you regretted it.” He paused, holding David’s hand in his. “Do you remember when you apologized for it? I really almost cried right there on the ping pong table,” he laughed. Because he could now. All of that felt like a distant memory.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I’m sorry...” David said quietly. He sounded genuinely pained at the thought.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo smiled up at him, reassuringly. “It’s okay. We’re together now.” He shrugged. “Who knows, maybe it was always meant to happen now and not any sooner. Maybe we needed more time to really feel like ‘this is it’ or whatever.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Fate and all that?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He nodded.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The joy he felt with David now was incomparable. None of the bad timing and the messy outcomes from the past mattered anymore.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t know about that. I was just in denial because I was scared.” David sighed. “I knew that I liked you a long time ago.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo’s eyes widened at that. “What? Since when?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I don’t know. Like... Since high school.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Dude, you should’ve told me back then!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“But you just said you didn’t realize how you felt until after graduation.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but I probably would’ve known sooner if you said something.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Oh, so it’s my fault.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Duh.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David pinched his nose and Matteo laughed, pushing his hand away before pulling him down for a kiss.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“What were you scared of?” Matteo asked.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“I thought that... I was worried that it was too much of a risk. If you didn’t like me back or if we did start dating but broke up. I just didn’t wanna lose you. And so if we stayed friends-”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo’s laugh interrupted him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David stared down at him incredulously.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“We’re such idiots. It was the same for me.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Now David was smiling, too. “Seriously?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo kissed his hand. “Seriously.”</p>
  <p>He sat up and moved to straddle his boyfriend, wrapping his arms loosely around his shoulders. David circled his own arms around Matteo’s hips, holding him close.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Why did you start pushing me away?” There was genuine curiosity, but there was also hurt tinting his voice. Matteo felt it too, thinking back.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He rested his head on David’s shoulder. “Like I said, it was the same for me. I was trying to protect myself. Preserve what we already had. I was convinced that it was all hopeless, so I made the decision to try and get over you. But it was impossible from the start.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo began to slowly run his nose along David’s jaw, then tilted his head to brush his lips against the skin. “I even mentally made these stupid rules for myself,” he mumbled.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Yeah?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Mhm.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“And what were those?”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No more hand holding.” Matteo planted a gentle kiss just below his ear. “No more cuddling in bed.” The featherlight touch of a hand moved up and down his back, causing him to shiver.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo sighed and buried his face in the crook of David’s neck, tightening the grip he had around him. “My room?” His voice was muffled.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>David tugged at his hair lightly so he lifted his head enough for a kiss. “Yeah,” he whispered.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Okay.” Matteo smiled, giving him a quick peck. Or at least it was supposed to be quick.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He playfully started planting multiple tiny pecks all over David’s face, which led him to hold Matteo’s head in place, wanting to kiss him properly. Matteo completely lost his train of thought as they made out.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Bro!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They turned to see Jonas blocking his eyes with both hands. Obviously too lost in each other to hear him come in.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Get a room!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Matteo laughed, getting off of David. He pulled him to his feet and they walked towards his room hand in hand. “We were just about to.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“Just... be considerate, yeah? You’re not the only ones home.”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No promises,” David joked, pushing the door to Matteo’s room closed and turning the lock.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
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